Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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