we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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