She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
