Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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