Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
