just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
