Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
