eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We have so much sex to catch up on
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize