My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
