My hair reeks of homosexuality.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize