My nipple is on Facebook.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
