3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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