from now on my penis is your penis
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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