I want to stick my p in your. b.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
