dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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