I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
