Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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