My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
