well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
