HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize