Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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