I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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