remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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