Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
