Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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