You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
