So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
