I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
