I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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