she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
