I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
