i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
