Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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