honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My breasts were aching with rage.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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