I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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