Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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