just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
