I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
