theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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