All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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