I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
