That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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