get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
