I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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