Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize