i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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