White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
