oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
