Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
