I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
honey bunches of taint.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
