So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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