Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
