He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I stole a fireplace last night.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
