I CAN MOONWALK!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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