So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
