So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
