i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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