these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
