Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
