New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
