he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize