I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
