Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
