for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
