Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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