last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
