It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
