How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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