i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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