I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
