I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
