I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
