Can i not drive my cunt home
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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